Wednesday, 10 July 2013

Willow Smith is 12 Years Old and Writing Songs About Love -- What's Wrong With This Picture Besides Everything?

Well, wait, no -- there's a more accurate way of putting that, truth be told. Willow Smith is only 12 years old and even though her mother, Jada Pinkett Smith, claimed that she was quitting music just recently to focus on being a 12-year-old, Willow's gone and released a single called "Summer Fling," because yes, 12-year-old girls should be worried about having flings in the summertime, and not playing Nintendo, eating copious amounts of garbage food behind their parents' backs, and planning epic sleepover parties (which absolutely, positively, do not include boys).

Other things that are completely wrong about this video? Well, here's a list:

  1. Why is Willow Smith hanging out with so many dudes, some of who look like they're 30 years old? Are they friends of her dad, Will? Sure hope so, otherwise somebody's got some explaining to do. 
  2. The fake Brit accent. It's cute, because a 12-year-old's doing it, but it's not so cute when it's encouraged to be "adult" and "sultry," because come on -- girl's 12 years old, FFS. 
  3.  She sings about walking on the beach hand in hand at midnight. MIDNIGHT. Wouldn't you have been killed for something like that at 12 years old?
  4. "Goodnight kiss 'til the mood is right." OH MAN. 
  5. She talks about saying, "I love you" to her "boyfriend," who is definitely more toward the 30 range than he is the 12 range. 
  6. Also. The very end. Where everybody's standing around in a circle, holding sparklers. Now that's just an unsafe practice, man. 

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